(B01C16) Chapter 16: Arcane Games

My Meta Life in Tron

“IN THE DAYS OF MY YOUTH I WAS TOLD WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN. NOW I'VE REACHED THAT AGE I'VE TRIED TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS THE BEST I CAN.” – “GOOD TIMES, BAD TIMES” BY LED ZEPPELIN

After spending so much time in front of the computer, I had successfully synchronized my brain wave patterns with an absolute system of logic, rules, and infallible functions. My brain was clean from incurring any possible externally-sourced bias or imbalanced. The more time that I spent working, the more I learned. Fortunately, because I had also adopted a perspective of the world (self-created god) from a simple IF, THEN, ELSE trinity, I was able to easily discern fact from fiction. I had very few preferences, occasionally even forgetting that I had to eat. Everywhere I went became a reflection of the programs and games that I had played while sitting in front of the computer screen.

Even though some parents may fear the amount of time that a child spends in front of a backlit screen, there are plenty of lessons that the child can learn from the time spent in synchronous conversation with these machines. It all depends on how the user perceives them and applies them to their external reality. Everyone is unique; therefore, one activity may be beneficial to one child and harmful to the next. It all depends on how the learning is applied. All of this relates to how safe each of us feels when we are vulnerable or “open” to receive new information/energy from the world around us.

I played the same games as other kids. However, while all of us seemed to enjoy the same games, I was not motivated to play them to assert the same energies of control, dominance, competition, or aggression that seemed to motivate the other boys around my age. This seemed to develop from their frequent rough-play or masculine dominance practices. Because I wasn't motivated by competition, I never learned to force myself to identify them. Instead of feeding others with my energy, I identified the parts of myself that I could develop, consuming everything in my environment to fuel consistent self-improvements. It wasn't that I was weak or physically incapable of defending myself; I just saw no reason to purposefully seek out a problem—or create one—just so that I could feel important or validated.

Competitive Disadvantage

“ONE LOVE, WHAT ABOUT THE ONE HEART, ONE HEART. WHAT ABOUT, PEOPLE, LET'S GET TOGETHER AND FEEL ALL RIGHT. AS IT WAS IN THE BEGINNING (ONE LOVE), SO SHALL IT BE IN THE END (ONE HEART).” – “ONE LOVE/PEOPLE GET READY” BY BOB MARLEY

My father never roughhoused with me. I rarely spent time around other males my age. As a result, I never learned that I was required or expected to dominate another human being in order to maintain my identity. While some could say that I was more passive and avoidant than other boys my age, I didn't even venture to make comparisons. I was always looking out my own eyes. Instead of being dependent upon others for my own perception of self and identity, I went inward and developed my ideal archetype based on my intuitive ideal. As I developed a healthy ego structure—like all children do up until the age of 7—I set my sights on that which was grounded in spiritual perfection and not just simply being “better” than others around me. I never learned that it was normal or acceptable to hurt or, dominate, or control others in order to deal with fears of possible abandonment.

My parents rarely held back truth from my sister and me. Instead of forcing us to adapt to an environment that was clouded with “because I said so” philosophy, my sister and I were spoken to like adults. This gave us a head start on developing confidence in ourselves instead of forcing us to rely on our parents to know what was “right” or otherwise acceptable. Instead of treating us as if we were not “ready” or “too young,” we grew into our intuitive minds more than codependence upon authority. As a result, I never really looked for teachers to tell me what to do. Alternatively, I saw teachers as resources, supplying my independent study with guidance, direction, and resource acquisition.

“WORD TO THE FATHER AND MOTHER EARTH. SEEKING EVERLASTING LIFE THROUGH THIS HELL FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. LOOK LISTEN AND OBSERVE, AND WATCH ANOTHER C-CYPHER PULLIN MY PEEPS TO THE CURB.” – “ABOVE THE CLOUDS” BY GANG STARR

In the same respect, many parents only become “ready” to become parents when they become pregnant with their first child. Therefore, we cannot necessarily state that we are “helping” people by making them prove themselves before having sex or bearing children. To many, that would be seen as an extremely oppressive state of control over someone's rights, freedoms, or sovereignty as a human being. And yet, some people impose their will upon others by restricting their access to factual information as if they were convincing adults that Santa Claus still exists—or needing to elect people to protect us from monsters underneath our beds.

Even established belief systems and religious institutions perpetuate dependence upon authorities instead of following Christ's example and seeking spiritual salvation. Fortunately, unconditional love does not require obedience or passivity to false authority systems or man's law. Jesus sought everlasting life by identifying with the energy of spiritual perfection, requiring Him to release dependency from idols, his human body, or physical materialism of any kind. He identified with the supreme self that he eventually transfigured into the Supreme Self (Brahma).

Unfortunately, there are people who protect their personal agendas and material/financial interests at all costs. There are many who insist on playing God, deciding who are “ready” or worthy of personal responsibility. Thankfully, my parents never sought to control me in that way. Instead, they taught me how to control myself so that I didn't grow up a perpetual victim to the world, lacking personal responsibility and accountability. Even if I occasionally experienced pain during these moments, I soon realized that I was unable to blame anyone but myself for the choices I made. This approach made me take personal accountability for my education. As a result, I never placed any limitations on what—or how much—I could learn.

Suffice it to say, because of the reluctance to risking a loss of predictability, control, or power, many people never make it off the curb, let alone cross the street. As a result, so many people choose to protect their fears, egos, and illusions of control over lives and environments. So many often forget that we are created as interdependent creators/creations with our environments. Only when these energies are balanced are we capable of actually having true “power” over self. Everything else is just an imposition of will to disguise addictions, attachments, and bad-faith morals or belief systems which prioritize fear over sovereign acceptance.

“BRAHMA AND HIS CREATION ARE ALL PART OF THE MATERIAL UNIVERSE, AND THEREFORE THEY ARE IN CONSTANT FLUX.” – BHAGAVAD GITA CHAPTER 8:17

Fortunately, even though I was frequently saddled with remnants of energy from people around me, I found peace in occasional isolation and solitude. By creating my own peace, I was always able to exist in eternal space, protected from that which would otherwise attempt to steal my energy. By not creating or identifying competition, I was able to utilize the totality of my sovereign power and abilities.

This is our spiritual inheritance; it is waiting for all of us to transcend duality and reclaim our divine energy. All we really have to do is to stop believing in binary systems like “good” vs. “bad” and realizing that we are all both—and neither. The only thing which would create a label would be the subjective perception of our external world—which, as I previously stated, is the illusion which perpetuates time and prevents us from eternal life in the Spirit. Fortunately, this Spirit is always wandering around, blowing in the wind, carrying keys to the kingdom—to your light.

The Wandering Minstrel

JD Stahl (06/22/2020) I would like to sing a song of love. What I see and what I feel, Flowing through me, It’s all that is real. Sing with me, if you can see this tune. In the morning, when you wake; That joy in a new day It’s all that it takes. Look above you, and feel it surround you. The angels bring a brand new spring. In your hearts, Can you feel the warmth? It’s in your smile, Your children, your love—the simple joy The wonder in the eyes of girls and boys? It’s you. I can have it, and so can you. There’s nothing ever to lose You don’t have to take mine But we can share our light in time Together. All colors. All ways It’s the dawning of a new day. Sing with me. Sing of love. In this now, we all can have peace. You can let go. You’re safe with me. It’s not a competition. It’s a present moment mission. If you try to compare You’ll never meet me there. You won’t need to ever feel right When you hold your own light. Give up the teams And dance with me. Everywhere you look, love awaits; Behind the fears, behind the hate. Just hold that love You have in your soul. The ones you protect; the ones you hold. Come sing with me before it’s too late. It’s the only way through the gate. I can be me and you can be you. They can all be them too. Wander in this door of love. And let’s all rise above.

Playing Chicken with the Eggman Across the Street

“YOU'RE JUST LIKE (CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC). SO HARD TO GET THROUGH TO YOU. (CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC). I DON'T NEED TO RUN OVER YOU. (CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC). ALL YOU DO IS SLOW ME DOWN. AND I'M TRYING TO GET ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN.” – “CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC” BY JIMI HENDRIX

The less we identify with our ego, the less we feel we have to protect or control. The closer we get to the paradox, the more it becomes apparent that we already exist on both sides of the street. All we have to do to “cross” is stop associating ourselves with something which is limited to the physical environment. Existing in two places at once is how we deliver ourselves from the illusion and transcend dualism. When we do this, we are divinely guided by our best selves—from the future, through the present moment, and then to our physical senses.

This is the internal IF, THEN, ELSE dynamic that gives us each our perception of depth, rendering, and perspective. When these commands are in harmony, we need not create any exceptions which would otherwise create redundancy. The more efficient our “code” is to the source of all harmony, the fewer conditions we place on either loving ourselves or our environment. When our code is washed clean, we earn an “extra life,” and are subsequently born again through linear reincarnation. We can essentially “cross the street” to our best self just by believing we are already there and releasing any attachments to self which caused us to identify with the version of ourselves previously left behind.

“IT’S BEEN ABOUT FORTY OR SO—AT LEAST IN THIS ONE GUY. LILY-PAD ON THESE BEAUTIFUL DAYDREAMS. DYING TO JUMP THROUGH THE SKY.” – “VOICES IN THE CANYON” BY JD STAHL

I was always extremely grateful for this gift I had been given. More so than that, I was always incredible thankful that I was given the learning and home environment to hold onto the language of energy that was the driving force to my education. Quietly concealed above my shoulders was a tool that had been handed down to me by my parents—protected by the unconditional love and trust of my own balance. I developed a love for learning by observing how devoted and attentive I was to my computer (friend). I felt I had been gifted the equivalent of a sports car the day I was born. Although I didn't have anything to compare it to, I was able to understand how my parents loved me and celebrated the fact that I was learning as much as possible.

In order to honor them even further, I would spend any time that I wasn't occupied in periods of reflection and deep thought. If I could apply the joy of learning that I felt in front of a computer or a workbook at all times, then I would never ever feel abandoned without this gratitude and appreciation for my gifts. While I would stare into the distance, facing the sun, I could feel the goosebumps raise on my arms. With all that I had learned about the operation of computers, I was more and more capable of structuring the lessons in my dreams. Using the basic rules, definitions, and concepts from all of my other subjects, I applied them to everything in my external world.

Reality became a game, another lesson, a computer problem that I could crunch in order to get to the next level. Instead of overlooking these challenges, I sought them out. Even when things weren't apparent, I would shift the patterns around so that they would fit. After all, when you enjoy something, you want to do it all the time. After being rewarded for learning and not being forced to learn specific things a specific way, I felt comfortable and confident enough to want to learn.

All of those words that had lacked meaning and structure started to order themselves in a way that was easier and easier to understand in my conscious mind. Instead of just being blindly led from one thing to the next, I was able to co-create with the world around me. Instead of having a bunch of random daydreams scattered around my mind like scraps of paper or notes on napkins, I could communicate with them. I wasn't having an actual verbal conversation, however; more so I was able to “see” what would happen in the future with each decision I made. I had observed so many situations and simplified them to the IF, THEN, ELSE code that I could predict outcomes with incredible accuracy. The more I played my games on the computer, the more I honed this sense in my external world as well.

Personal Computing (PC) Frog

“INDIANS SCATTERED ON DAWN'S HIGHWAY BLEEDING. GHOSTS CROWD THE YOUNG CHILD'S FRAGILE EGGSHELL MIND.” – “PEACE FROG” BY THE DOORS

To practice this ability, I played a game called “Frogger.” Frogger was a simple computer game where the player controls a frog on the screen. The frog sprite starts each level at the bottom of the screen and is expected to hop across 11 lines in order to get to the other side (top) of the screen. Some of these lines were like crossing a street and the rest were crossing a stream. Each line presented its own challenges, randomly moving at various speeds and different directions in each level.

As the levels got more difficult, greater speeds and more difficult variables were assigned to each line. In order to not become roadkill or drown in the stream, I had to move quickly. I jumped between vehicles, hopped on logs, and avoided other types of hazards and obstacles. After the 11 lines were traversed, there were 5 slots in the top of the screen where the player needed to dock their frog. When I filled all of these slots, the level was over and I advanced to the next one.

This advancement meant that my eyes had to focus on multiple variables at the same time. In each of those variables, you had to quickly account for all variables: speed, direction, spacing, and condition. I learned to balance both kinetic and potential energies themselves, finding the perfect “time” to move my frog sprite through the 11 different lines/dimensions between the curb and the 12th dimension where I could navigate my frog to one of the 5 possible slots. When all 5 slots were filled, I could safely move onto the next level.

When I first started playing this game during free time at school, I recognized how I was able to use my focus and attention to patterns in order to identify consistencies. After focusing my full attention into the game, I realized that I was actually pretty good at Frogger. Being good at something made me feel great, which motivated me to do it more. Since I always sought to improve my skills without comparing it to anyone else, I dissected the dynamics of the game to see where I could make my strategy more and more efficient. I even applied the ability to pay attention to multiple variables at once when I wasn't sitting in front of the computer. Instead of practicing how to jump, I practiced simplifying variables until I could essentially slow time down to a stop.

I perceived my entire world from this perspective. Every person, place, or activity was simplified into a set of variables that I was able to decode into a predictable function of action. This ability meant that I could essentially connect on a level of consciousness outside of linear time. I not only could predict actions based on these variables, but I could also understand (see) how they arrived at the present moment. This understanding helped me not feel as if I had to ask so many questions from others, assuring me that I wouldn't be subjected to other people's energetic reminders. By eliminating these extraneous variables, I was able to “see” a perfect path in each and every situation. Therefore, after watching the screen for a few seconds, I could time my jumps perfectly, hopping from one side of the street to the other without doubt or hesitation.

I guess my parents were pleased with how I was applying this learning, even though I never verbalized what I was actually doing or “how” I was thinking. Honestly, I never had anything to compare my process to, and so I never even thought to learn how to explain it. At this age, I just assumed that everyone thought in the same way. On the outside, I was just having a lot of fun playing my computer games. Even though I would occasionally skip meals and stay indoors while other kids were outside, they saw how much it was helping me to focus. Instead of always asking for attention, complaining about one thing or another, or bothering them, I was working independently on my own. My learning was completely self-sustaining. I was excelling in all of my classes at school; and, as my mother reports, I always made the best of everything and rarely ever cried.

So, when I came downstairs on Christmas morning when I was six years old and found an Apple II computer with a bow on it, I felt like the happiest kid in the world. I spent hours—days—in front of this computer. The entire holiday break from school was spent with me waking up before the sun came up and playing until I was forced to go to bed. My mother even had to bring me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to the computer because I was so completely engrossed in the game. The outside world disappeared entirely. The computer keyboard soon felt like a bionic extension of my hands.

Blind Ambition for Deaf Dummies

"SOMETIMES, IT IS TRUE, A SENSE OF ISOLATION ENFOLDS ME LIKE A COLD MIST AS I SIT ALONE AND WAIT AT LIFE’S SHUT GATE. BEYOND THERE IS LIGHT, AND MUSIC, AND SWEET COMPANIONSHIP; BUT I MAY NOT ENTER. FATE, SILENT, PITILESS, BARS THE WAY…SILENCE SITS IMMENSE UPON MY SOUL. THEN COMES HOPE WITH A SMILE AND WHISPERS, ‘THERE IS JOY IS SELF-FORGETFULNESS.’ SO I TRY TO MAKE THE LIGHT IN OTHERS’ EYES MY SUN, THE MUSIC IN OTHERS; EARS MY SYMPHONY, THE SMILE ON OTHERS’ LIPS MY HAPPINESS.” – HELEN KELLER

The same confluence occurs when children learn everything: language, musical instruments, sports, etc. If a child starts a hobby early enough, they will eventually use the language dynamics of any activity as a means of personal expression. Math, science, music, art, physical activity—all of these outlets of energy have their own energetic patterns. Each bolsters a unique language that one can use to express themselves.

Without making comparisons, we never fragment our energy into what is possible vs. impossible, allowing us to focus all of our energy into ability instead of entertaining doubt or dependency. Essentially, we aren't forced to identify with our ego at all, because we were never required to live in a reality where external comparisons or validation were required to exist. The more we become engaged in these activities without fragmented distractions, the more fluent we learn to “speak” from them until they become an extension of soul's energy. The energy of every child's nonphysical soul is persistent—purely channeled wherever focus is placed. Even if we are born without the ability to see, hear, touch, or speak, the soul always finds a way to express its energy from one side of the road to the other.

Whenever I was purely focused within any activity, it was as if I was in a snow globe. Inside the glass fortress of solitude was an energy of intense elation that was as bright of the sun. In the focused white light of my internal source of purity, I was at “home.” Whenever I would leave my computer, I carried this sense of “home” along with me. All I had to do was to apply myself to the world in the same way that I applied myself to Frogger.

Behind the Game

“THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM IS THE ABILITY TO CALL THINGS BY THEIR RIGHT NAMES.” – CONFUCIUS

In doing this, I set aside all variables and sought purity in everything and everyone. From that locus of purity, I not only identified myself but also the unifying factor within all things. Outwards from that ideal consistency, I proceeded to categorize each entity and draw from it is fixed and variable qualities. Working collaboratively with my environment, I would use the sunshine to direct me to each following object. The ultraviolet light would call to my eyes, drawing them towards the reflecting of light on certain people, cars, buildings, animals, trees, and landscape. Each variable had to be studied separately and every object had its own subcategory texture and code. Each were perfectly balanced in their randomness, like the clouds in the sky.

Just like when I played Frogger, all movable objects had their own unique set of variables: direction, speed, appearance, shape, size. They could move forward, backwards, left, or right. Each of them had an internal and external variable, both in past and future. I saw buildings and separated their attributes by shape, size, entrances, exits, windows, and other attributes. The more and more I practiced this, the easier, quicker, and more efficient it became. After being outside around a multitude of differential variables, Frogger seemed simple in comparison. In this way, when I got back to the game, my ability to identify patters was significantly improved.

“OUT WHERE THE SUN'S IN MY EYE. AND OUT WHERE THE HILLS HIT THE SKY. THERE IS A PLACE. THERE IS A FORTUNE. IT HAS EVERYTHING TO HELP YOU FIT IN WITH EVERYONE. SO PLEASE DON'T BE SO AFRAID. 'CAUSE THERE'S NOBODY INSANE HERE HERE ON THE PIGEON FARM.” – “PIGEON FARM BOY” BY MARCY PLAYGROUND

Animals had their own unique directional patterns. Many of them had a wildly differential reaction to external stimulus, like sound or movement. Every animal would move in directions which were unique to their species. Many of these animals, like birds, had certain identifiable patterns that I could observe like brush strokes from a paintbrush in the sky. They would chirp and call to each other, and I would study which birds would respond and what they would do as a response, how they flew, how far, and what they would do when they reached their next destination.

Every single thing in my environment was perceived as uniquely perfect in their own way. Because I wasn't raised in an environment which made competition and comparison something essential to existence, I never even considered to perceive these variables for their differences. Rather, I appreciated each and everything around me for their differences. I observed these variables as a uniquely personal expression of every silent soul—from the source of light to the world around them.

Each person was a uniquely painted expression of their authentic energy—all sourced from the same central crux of all possible variables. Without comparison or impression of expectation, I sank deeply into appreciation and curiosity. My inquisitive learning became a personal expression of my unconditional love and compassion with everything. This silent telepathy became my primary language—how our hearts spoke to one another.

“I WRITE AND I PAINT. I LIVE AND I BREATHE. IT'S INCREDIBLE HOW LITTLE I NEED. I'VE BEEN ENLIGHTENED, AWAY FROM MY SCENE. I FIND THE BEAUTY IN EVERYTHING.” – “HOTEL ANYWHERE” BY COLD WAR KIDS

Whenever I was capable of identifying myself as an equal to another variable (living or not), I felt it “speak” to me. Without even uttering a word or making gesture, I could synchronize with its energy, simply by establishing harmony with it. In the absence of competition, opposition, rejection, or lack of acceptance, the fears associated with maintaining a unique identity (ego) vanished entirely. Instead, the energy was awash with reciprocal appreciation and observant curiosity.

Often, animals would acknowledge me as if I were one of them. Our curious energies would attune to one another, both simultaneously observing each other from a perspective behind our unique variables. In this deeper place where nature is all One, time stopped and silent understanding (harmony) was reached. Even if it only lasted a second, that was all that was needed. In that moment, time stopped, and what seems instantaneous was actual an infinite moment, frozen in time forever. It was in these moments that I was able to establish a perfect recall of memory, making reflections such as these not only possible, but necessary.

Third Time's the Brahma (Charming Child)

“THE FACT THAT AN IDEA SO UTTERLY ARCHAIC COULD RISE TO SUCH EXALTED HEIGHTS OF MEANING NOT ONLY POINTS TO THE VITALITY OF ARCHETYPAL IDEAS, IT ALSO DEMONSTRATES THE RIGHTNESS OF THE PRINCIPLE THAT THE ARCHETYPE, BECAUSE OF ITS POWER TO UNITE OPPOSITES, MEDIATES BETWEEN THE UNCONSCIOUS SUBSTRATUM AND THE CONSCIOUS MIND.” – CARL JUNG

Humans, on the other hand, were a completely different story. Similar to the Frogger lines that would slow you down in water, humans also had a viscous set of emotional variables which were extremely unique and intricately complex. Humans could slow you down with these variables and emotions, like quicksand, slowing down time whenever I attempted to synchronize with them.

In order to adequately understand the IF, THEN, ELSE process of the other human beings around me, I would have to observe them intensely. This helped to assure me that I could set aside all their emotionality before attempting to harmonize with them. ELSE, I would end up taking on their emotions as my own, causing me to slow down and ground myself into their energy. What I found out is that their demeanor was not the source of their differences, but a hidden set of catalysts for each unique adaptation to their personality. In order to pinpoint these sources, I had to learn someone well enough to look into their past—without the inherent bias of their subjective perception.

Dissecting the realm of humanity's variables was a much bigger job than it had appeared to be at the time. However, because nobody told me otherwise, I considered it just as possible as anything else. Since I never told anyone about this “game” I played with the world, nobody was there to tell me that it couldn't be done or that it wasn't realistic. Instead, I spent most of my time “playing”--Frogger or reality itself. By doing so, I equally identified with both the physical and nonphysical qualities of the entire universe.

“[HERMES/MERCURIUS/THOTH] IS BOTH MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL. HE IS THE PROCESS BY WHICH THE LOWER AND MATERIAL IS TRANSFORMED INTO THE HIGHER AND SPIRITUAL, AND VICE VERSA. HE IS THE DEVIL, A REDEEMING PSYCHOPOMP, AN EVASIVE TRICKSTER, AND GOD’S REFLECTION IN PHYSICAL NATURE. HE IS ALSO THE REFLECTION OF A MYSTICAL EXPERIENCE OF THE ARTIFEX THAT COINCIDES WITH THE OPUS ALCHYMICUM. AS SUCH, HE REPRESENTS ON THE ONE HAND THE SELF AND ON THE OTHER THE INDIVIDUATION PROCESS AND, BECAUSE OF THE LIMITLESS NUMBER OF HIS NAMES, ALSO THE COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS.” – CARL JUNG

I started this gaming process simply; I used my family as a basis for establishing archetypes before; this process was essentially not much different. The two major ideals that I had set were masculine and feminine. Being that my parents were two completely different people of opposite genders, I created my ideal archetypes from their example.

Their coding could be seen separately, both differences and similarities, causing me learn two completely different sets of mannerisms, hesitations, vocal expressions, word choices, etc. At their core, however, they were the same. In this place where they overlapped, I saw myself—equally both masculine and feminine, but dominant in neither. From this perspective, I was able to parse the rest of the world in either direction; all were variables which were unique identifiable factors.

Between the poles of all extremes, I could identify myself as the central balance or crux. Yet, at any moment I could also fully identify with either extreme so that I could understand the source of each bias. Within all parts of this trinity of self a “whole” self or personality emerged from the opposites. This personality was the totality of all variables, separate from fixed characteristics. Thus, I practiced doing this with everyone I met: locating the point within all of them which I shared. In each person I met, there was a central point—the singularity. The more I operated from this locus of consciousness, the easier I could entrain my mind to their energy in the same way that I was able to do with the lines in Frogger.

Virtuous Reality

“SOMETHING TELLS ME I’M GAMING; ONE LEVEL UP, PLAYING THE NEXT. EYES ABOUT AND EARS WITHIN ME. FILLING UP THE BOOKS WITH CHECKS.” – “YOU, ME, AND GABRIEL” BY JD STAHL

I soon realized was that I really didn't need to sit in front of my computer to play this “game.” Knowing that I could do it wherever I went, I began to enjoy being outside more and more. The level of difficulty was greater. There were many more variables—especially in other humans. The only difference between “humans” and energy is the dilated affects of self-identification. The more one identifies with their physical self, the greater the distance they are away from that central point of unconditional love—the spark of light that shines within.

As I sought to balance the energies in my mind, I saw each different quality in all living things as a personal expression of their “art.” This appreciation for the random beauty in nature came from identifying the differential nature of all of my observations: plants, animals, and Earth itself. By seeing these qualities and variables as separate from that which binds all living things together, I was able to identify the balance which existed within all things. This game that I played with the world caused me to witness the infinitely unique beautification of everything around me. I had as much fun with the world around me as I did sitting in front of the computer. Eventually, the external world started to become even more interesting, challenging, and fun than the limited construct of my Apple II computer.

Every single unique personality had its own variables. That mix of variables shone a different color in respect to the purity of the sunshine. As my eyes would be drawn to certain people, I quickly “heard” their energy as easily as I was able to “see” it reflect off of the sunlight. In the background processes of my mind, I calculated all variables and established all statistical probabilities, leaving my conscious mind to purely focus on appreciating each and every creation as art or poetry in motion. Doing so, I was always in constant wonder wherever I went. I would look up into the sky at the birds or the trees in the same manner that one would expect a newborn to look at its first fireworks show. Instead of creating my own limited personality variables, I identified my “self” with this perpetual state of wonder, innocence, and unconditional compassion.

Never Could I Ever

JD Stahl (11/25/2020) Never could I ever Have imagined this peace would return. Raging seas, tranquility, and heavens dreams Cannot compare to the way of the pinnacle. The mountain had cried for centuries to be released Under icy ledges and trodden paths Only the animals seemed to deem worthy. Forward and back again, I’ve been the climber. I’ve sat beneath the sequoias, singing songs That found their way through waves To inhabit the bodies that carry you and me. Never could I ever Have realized that the birds and bees Would listen to a man as simple as me. Building bridges and collecting dust Based on the purest intentions of these daydreams. Detoured only by doubt, now so thankfully Absent any attachment and audience attention. At the end of my travel, in the light of dawn, I turned back only to deliver what we have won. Never could I ever Have realized that forever occupies The same space as the perfect loving grace That accompanied my stride, as you have. The other side of this heart. That beats the drum I carry today, As I hold the light to show others the way.